Happiness Comes to Those Who Are Diligent
by Collaterally Damaging Pen
Summary: Once again we visit our severly down-on-his-luck, butler-in-debt who has been working diligently to pay off his massive debt which is only pocket change in Nagi and Maria's eyes. Through stupidity and coincidence, Hayate eventually finds a way to pay...
1. Chapter 1

**Bold type means the narrator is speaking.**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Hayate no Gotoku or any of the characters associated with it. Sometimes I wish though...if I could just get the rights to the Narrator..._**

**Chapter 1**

Diligence Pays off...Eventually Right?

The blue-haired butler-in-debt woke up even before the sun had even peeked over the horizon.

"Well time to clean up for ojou-sama and get to work."

The optimist lad got up from his fairly modest bed into a fairly normal room with a very expensive butler uniform in the closet. Of course expensive seemed to be only something in his vocabulary as Maria-san and Ojou-sama had shown him countless times in the past. Then it happened, the room suddenly grew dark and Hayate didn't even flinch when a very familiar ghost popped up in front of him. "Well hello, Ze*n Soldier-san." The ghost cried in a corner and the room became light again. "One of these days I really should get Isumi-san to take care of this before Ojou-sama sees him again." The optimistic Hayate quickly filed that observation under 'things-to-do-for-Ojou-sama' and went to get ready for the day.

**We shall now skip Hayate's morning schedule and proceed on to later in the day. Unless of course you want me to show you some fan-service hummm?**

"Hey! Don't look while I'm getting dressed!...By the way Narrator-sama? How would you give people fan-service in a fan-fiction? It's not like you can see anything while reading."

**Oh I'm glad you asked that Hayate-kun. Even without video the human imagination is very powerful and I could tell them everything that is happening like this: Then Hayate tore off his night shirt, exposing his-**

"OK STOP! Please…no more. I'm sure the readers get enough of these situations as it is. We don't want to potentially shock potential readers with erotic material."

**Oh but we could have had so much fun and some people like this kind of…but anyway lets move on.**

In just around two hours, the speedy and efficient butler already had an entire wing of the mansion as clean recently polished statue. Of course there were polished statues in the mansion so perhaps that wasn't the greatest of metaphors but in any case, Hayate soon found his next mission.

"Ojou-sama! It's time to get up and go to school! Ojou-sama!" Hayate knocked loudly on the huge wooden doors to Nagi's bedroom, but of course there was no response. Hayate had his hand on the door handle when Maria, Sanzenin Nagi's maid, came from down the corridor. "Ah, good-morning Maria-san!"

"Good-morning Hayate-kun." As always, Maria looked stunning in her maid outfit for a ninete-"Seventeen!" oh right, seventeen-year-old girl. "Are you going to wake up Nagi?" Being probably the closest one to Nagi, Maria had no trouble with not using any honorifics with the rich, hot-tempered, young heir to the Sanzenin estate.

"Yes Maria-san, but well…perhaps it would be better if you woke her up this morning. Every time I do it, she gets mad at me for some reason." Innocent shined from his feminine face as he spoke.

"_Hayate-kun, you really still don't know the reason she gets 'mad'. But of course she's not even on your radar so you just don't really think in those terms."_

"Well she does seem to trust you a lot Maria-san. You always seem so knowledgable about everything, well after all, you've had plenty of experien-"

"Oh, Hayate-kun?" Maria's face started to darken and a heavy atmosphere filled the air. "Do I really seem that I'm old enough to have had-" Thankfully, Hayate wasn't completely stupid and saw where this was heading, to a place he didn't really want to go see quite yet.

"No Maria-san! I don't think you're old enough to have had-umm…well Maria-san I'll leave her up to your capable, smooth hands." The word 'smooth' had slipped though his head at this particular moment because as he was thinking of a defense for himself, he had unconsciously held her hand while he was trying to turn her wrath away from him. Maria started to blush slightly and Hayate quickly followed her example. The very next second they were back-to-back with each other. "Well I'll get Ojou-sama's breakfast ready."

"Y-yes Hayate-kun, I'll wake up Nagi while you do that."

"Later Maria-san!" Hayate soon disappeared while Maria found herself in Nagi's room with the door behind her.

"_R-really I shouldn't let such a simple thing bother me. After all we've been in much more embarrassing situations…" _Of course as soon as she said that those certain embarrassing situations started to surface like the time-*cough* _"Well then, time to wake up Nagi"_

**Typical love-comedy situation, I know. Too bad she didn't let me continue…**

* * *

After some time, Hayate and Nagi found themselves at school. Amazingly she had agreed to come to school and Hayate was happy that she was getting an education and having at least some sort of a school life. School went on and Katsura-sensei was as outgoing as ever, but of course the kind of outgoing I'm talking about is not the normal kind of outgoing, but more like on the edge of insanity. The end result was Katsura-sensei trying to get money out of the class but luckily Hinagiku was happening by (I wonder why ) and out came her shinai and down went Katsura-sensei.

"Sheesh, Onee-chan! Stop trying to shake-down the students for your expenses!"

"But Hina, you keep refusing to let me borrow money! Besides, I know Ayasaki-kun is loaded." The teal-headed, eccentric teacher said as she pointed an accusing finger at the hapless butler.

"_Ah I see she still hasn't forgotten about that time I had a million yen."_ Hayate sighed and a puff of air escaped.

"Onee-Chan! Stop trying to take advantage of Ayasaki-kun!" Hinagiku seemed to loom over her older sister like a shinigami, shinai at the ready to strike and anger waves radiated from her body.

"Ah Hina…ok I won't try to take anything, cheapskate." With Katsura-sensei effectively tamed by the Student Council President, Hinagiku had calmed down somewhat.

"Thank you Hinagiku-san. As always you have a very commanding presence and handled things quite well."

Hinagiku held back a blush and smiled, "Well I am Hakuou's Student Council President after all. Anyway Hayate-kun, would you mind going out with me after class. Hayate started to go crimson as certain thoughts temporarily found residence in his head.

"G-go out with you, well um…" Then it was Hina's turn to turn into a very cute cherry with pink icing. The entire class was watching their exchange and whispers were already flying. Plus one small, twin-tailed blonde was becoming an inferno of rage.

"No! Not like that, BAKA!" Hinagiku countered defensively, "I just want you to meet me outside after school that's all! Ugh, never mind! Just forget it Ayasaki-kun." Flustered, Hinagiku stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

"I think I made her mad again, why does this keep happening…"

**Because you don't understand a girl's heart at all Hayate. Of course if he actually did, then this story[plus the anime and manga] would have ended a long time ago.**

"Hay-at-te!" Nagi practically growled at him when he went back to sit down.

"Ojou-sama?" Hayate replied and then regretted looked at Nagi who at the moment didn't look at all like his master in her enraged mode. Flames seemed to be spewing out from her body, trying to surround him and smother him with their heat. _"She looks almost like she's in bers**k mode right now."_

"Were you thinking she was asking you on a d-d-da-" Nagi suddenly found herself unable to say the word that she loathed to say herself at the moment because of what it implied about her butler.

"Date?" He added helpfully, trying to be the perfect Sanzenin Butler. The resulting slap was loud enough for everyone to hear. "O-Ojou-sama!" Before he could do anything Nagi was already out the door with tears already forming in her eyes. Hayate could only sit there, confused. "Did I do something to anger Ojou-sama?"

**Sometimes I have to wonder if his invincibility means he's actually an alien. **

"Ojou-sama!" Hayate decided to go after her and left the classroom, which was silent, but only for a very short time.

"Stupid Hayate! How could even think about cheating on me and with Hinagiku! Well yes she is pretty, smart, strong, and cool but Hayate knows that it's the inside that counts and not about height!"

**Seems to me that you have self-confidence issues, also who are you to talk about what's on the inside. All you ever do is play MMOs and watch anime.**

"SHUT UP! Hayate wouldn't see any woman other then me!"

**Trying to regain confidence in yourself?**

"Is something wrong with Hayate-kun?" Nagi jumped when she heard the voice next to her and saw that it was only Isumi, who had managed to get lost but had luckily found her.

"I-Isumi! N-no nothings wrong with Hayate." Nagi gave a quick cough and thought, _"I can't let Isumi think anything's wrong between us."_

"Oh, well that's good…"

"Of course nothing's wrong with Hayate! Even if I did yell at him and he was thinking of another girl and things seem to happen to him all the time and I haven't seen him transform once and he hasn't learned an awesome skill yet like the Sh**l Bul**t and he keeps having run-ins with other girls, Hayate is still mine and everything is fine."

"Eh…" Isumi had very quickly lost concentration when Nagi went into her fast little rant and had no idea what she just said. Isumi brought her hand to her mouth, although the sleeve as always was too long and covered her hand completely and tried to make something out of what she said. By her rather blank face you could tell nothing was surfacing. "Well Nagi, how about we have a small break."

"Nagi brightened up at the idea, plus she had been wanting to tell Isumi about her latest manga chapters she had just finished the day before. "Alright, come on Isumi," She turned to look at a small patio set up beside one of the school buildings, "let's go over there and have some cake…" By the time she turned back, Isumi was already lost and nowhere in the vicinity. "I-Isumi…why can't she just learn to let people help her out."

Nagi sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile the Butler-in-Debt was looking for her but the school-grounds were perhaps even bigger then the Sanzenin estate itself and he was having no success. "Ojou-sama! Humm…now where would Ojou-sama have gone to." Hayate found himself in the general vicinity of the cafeteria, hoping to find her in one of the chairs outside the café where she might be eating her worries away; hopefully in a better mood as well. What he found instead were the three members of the student council who were always together: Izumi, Risa, and Miki..

"Hi Hayate!"

"How's it been going?"

"Do you think you can help us?"

Came the three welcomes from the trio. Hayate decided to go over and help them and just maybe they had seen ojou-sama. "Alright but first, have any of you seen Ojou-sama?"

"Nagi? Well I think I may have seen her ummm…" Responded the purple-haired, twin-tailed Izumi. While she racked through her memory Risa whispered to Miki, "By the way, what do we need his help for?" The blue haired girl grinned evilly at Risa,

"Just for some movie research." There was a merciless twinkle in the corner of her eye and her lips curved an evil, kuu kuu laughing, smile.

"No, I don't remember seeing her, sorry Hayata-kun."

"Oh it's alright, and really…its Hayate not Hayata. So then, what did you need me for?" It looked like Izumi was about the reply when a 'breeze' picked up her skirt and unfortunately this particular day, she was not wearing spandex.

"Nice shot." Miki gave a thumb's up to Risa while holding a camera that now contained yet another incriminating photo of Hayate. Risa gave a thumb's up back along with a small fan she had used to air up Izumi's skirt. Hayate had a look of shock and embaressment while Izumi still had her hands down to hold down her skirt and looked quite taken aback. She also was turning a cherry pink.

"Thank you Hayate, now we can continue with our club activities." Risa and Miki marched away a distraught Izumi while Hayate just stood there, still a little shocked from the whole stage-up.

**You know, I'm not sure if that's just your bad luck acting up again or you're getting some good luck for a change.**

"It was not GOOD!...I feel sorry for Izumi-san."

**Yes and I feel sorry for you a lot of the time but not right now.**

"Ayasaki-kun." A familiar pink-haired girl flooded his vision and brought Hayate back to reality.

"Oh Hinagiku-san! Umm are you still mad?"

"Am I still _what_ Ayasaki-kun?" She suddenly loomed over him and he shrank.

"You are mad…sorry."

Hinagiku wanted to get mad at his apologizing attitude but just couldn't maintain it anymore so she sighed. "Oh it's alright Ayasaki-kun." But then a conniving thought tickled her mind. "So Hayate-kun, were you really blushing because you thought I was asking you out on a date?" She smiled disarmingly at Hayate who nearly shivered.

"No! I absolutely wasn't blushing because I thought you were asking me out on a date!"

"Oh, so you wouldn't want to go out on a date with me?" Hinagiku's sharp wit and smarts very quickly disoriented Hayate.

"Yes!" He said automatically then very quickly realized his life might be in serious danger, "I mean no! I wouldn't mind at all. But I'm sure since Hinagiku-san is so cool and smart **(I see blushing)** that you wouldn't want to spend time around with someone boring like me." What Hayate thought was a good life-preserver, but it turned out to still have a major hole in it, even if he did laugh at himself.

"Baka!" Hinagiku muttered and turned her eyes away from Hayate.

"Ehh?"

"Err I mean…well here is something for you." Hinagiku shoved a piece of paper into a surprised Hayate's hands. Hayate carefully un-crinkled the strip and found that it was a sort of lottery ticket.

"Well what's it for Hinagiku-san?" Hayate asked totally missing the point, as always.

"Humm…well I know its not much or anything its just that I don't need it and well, onee-chan 'borrowed' some money from me and decided to use it on a get rich quick scheme. Considering it was my money in the first place, I took it from her since I was unable to get a refund. Well, I don't really need it and well, you might as well hope for the best, right?"

"Thank you Hinagiku-san! I'll be sure to tell you if anything happens. You're always doing so much for me." Hinagiku started to get a little red again.

"Oh well it's nothing, I'm just doing the Student Council's job…and it would look bad if it was known I had gambled, even by lottery."

**Come to think of it I seem to remember you winning a fairly large lottery in a chapter of the manga. Quite deceitful of you Ms. Katsura.**

"Well that does make sense when I think about it."

"Well I'll see you later Hayate-kun!" Hinagiku started to walk away and waved back to Hayate who waved back and then continued on his mission to finding Nagi-ojou-sama.

"_I wish I could have given Hayate what I really wanted to give him."_ Hinagiku sighed as she produced a small bag of cookies from her person. _"Well can't let them go to waste I suppose. I could use a glass of milk to go with these though." _The cookies turned out to be a little crispy.

* * *

"Ojou-sama." Hayate had been looking for quite a while but he still couldn't find the person he was indebted to. "Maybe she has gone back home by now." The thought of Nagi back in her private room, reading or playing some MMO seemed quite likely to him at the moment. Another small thought managed to slip into his preoccupied mind when he remembered the paper Hinagiku had given him. His hand absent-mindedly went into his pocket and out came the small piece of paper, what appeared to be a sort of lottery ticket with a lot of numbers on it. It wasn't any business he was familiar with though but none of that really mattered at the moment, since it was a gift from Hinagiku he might as well use it. Now the question was, where would he go to find out if he was a winner and how to collect his winnings? He decided that further examination of the ticket would give him some clues. "Winners will be announced at 10 pm tonight. Winners will then be contacted. How will they be contacted if they don't know who has the ticket? Well it's not like I'll win or anything so it probably doesn't matter."

**I think you just jinxed yourself Hayate and with your luck…**

"Well then, I must continue to look for Ojou-sama!" As Hayate continued to look around the school, he was interrupted by a small voice behind him.

"Hayate-sama." Came a voice from behind him. Hayate looked back and sure enough, it was the royal princess-of-being-lost-instantly herself, Isumi Saginomiya. As usual, Isumi was in her traditional clothes and she had a stole on around her shoulders. Isumi's large eyes seemed to penetrate right into his soul and with her power that might have even been possible; however, at that moment her eyes were mostly filled with concern about being in a place were she had not been trying to go.

"Ah, Isumi-san! Do you need some help getting back?" Hayate asked, feeling an instant need to perform his butler duties of helping any friend of the Sanzenin Family out. That is what he diluted himself into thinking but in actuality that was just part of his caring nature that was maybe just a bit emphasized by his status.

Isumi started to look embarrassed and tried to hide her face behind the long sleeves of her kimono, but not even her hair and wafuku could completely hide her reddened face. You could see she was struggling a bit with pride but she managed to just barely nod to Hayate, who gave her a small, knowing smile.

"Well then Isumi-san, I'll be happy to escort you back. By the way, do you know where Ojou-sama is?" Hayate grasped at that particularly thin straw as he stretched out a hand for Isumi to take.

Isumi's face started to burn brighter as she looked up at Hayate clad in his fancy uniform, arm stretched out to her with a dramatic wind ruffling their hair. The overall effect of all these factors seemed to imprint the word "hero" in her mind and a fuzzy border with random flowers and bubbles formed around Hayate's head and torso. She gently shook her head as she tentatively reached her hand out, while keeping the other one over her mouth, and her hand peeked out of the sleeve in order to grasp Hayate's inviting hand.

"Well, I thought as much. I suppose Ojou-sama will come around in a little while. Let's go back Isumi-san." As the two started making their way back to class, Isumi held back just a little behind Hayate's strides, still hiding her face behind her free arm for a while longer but eventually dropping it to her side.

"A-Ano…Hayate-sama-"

"Oh by the way Isumi-san," Hayate interrupted her very quiet words when he suddenly remembered something.

"Y-yes?" She replied weakly.

"Can I ask you a favor?" A question mark appeared over Isumi's head. "You see it seems that by bedroom is haunted and I was wondering if you could take care of it for me. He's pretty much harmless but last time Ojou-sama accidently met him while she was in my room and she was so scarred that she was shaking all over. I need to make sure that the mansion is a safe and cheerful environment for Ojou-sama."

Isumi smiled slightly, "Hmm, ghosts and spirits always did give Nagi quite a scare. Of course Hayate-sama, I'll be more then happy to help you out." A bit late, part of what Hayate had just said filter through her head. "Nagi was in your room Hayate-sama?" A bit of concern filtered into her usual, stoic face, unsure of what to make of this piece of information.

"Yes, while I was away one day, she somehow found herself in my bedroom and that is when the incident happened. I wonder why she was there in the first place?" Always the innocent one with children, Hayate really had no idea why she had been there in the first place. Instantly any slight worry that had crossed Isumi's heart had vanished like the dramatic wind that had been in the area just a few moments before. She may have resigned herself to the fact that Hayate was Nagi's hero, but she still found herself feeling great admiration for the butler that just wouldn't go away.

Soon Hayate found himself in front of Isumi's classroom, making sure that he saw her actually go in the classroom so she wouldn't get lost. Isumi let go of Hayate's hand and stood in front of the classroom door, but turned to face Hayate. "I'll see you after school then Hayate-sama."

"Yes, until then Isumi-san."

"See you…" Her soft voice faded away as she turned back to the classroom door, stepped inside and closed the sliding doors behind her.

"Well that should take care of that…AH! I better get back to class fast! I'm going to have to borrow notes for everything I've missed!" The invincible Hayate sped off at rocket speed to his own classroom to try and minimize his absence as much as possible. Not that it would help him any…

* * *

**_Author's Note: Yay! My first subscription so don't be too harsh but I'll accept anything that comes my way graciously. Reviews appreciated. Updates to the story will probably vary I'm afraid cause there's just so much to do, like another story I'm writting that is not a fan fic. Well I hope you liked this first chapter. Later!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Hayate no Gotoku. If I did I wouldn't be doing this now would I?_**

_Well here is chapter 2, hope you enjoy!_

**As always bold type is the narrator speaking.**

**Chapter 2:**

What Does Luck Have To Do With Anything? Everything Apparently.

School had come and gone in a flurry of activity. Very soon it was over and Hayate had still not been able to locate Nagi anywhere. Of course this didn't deter him in the slightest, he being the best Sanzenin butler he could be.

"Ojou-sama will be happy when she learns my room is ghost free now. Maybe it will even cure her fear of the dark!"

**A nice thought butler-in-debt, but absolutely impossible. **

As soon as school was over Hayate made his way to the school's entrance to wait for Isumi and her amazing exorcist skills. After all she was the most power yet of the long line of Saginomiya women. Her powers had absolutely no relation to hand soap.

For a few minutes, Hayate was afraid that she had gotten lost again, but his fears left him when he saw the prim princess stroll toward him, flanked by her two most trusted servants. Thank goodness at least the people employed by the Saginomityas had good senses of direction.

"Hayate-sama." Came the small voice from her nearly expression-less face.

"Isumi-san!" Hayate greeted back as her two suit-clad servants glared at him. Hayate didn't feel very comfortable in their presence, as if a dark aura had descended into the area, with one small bright light in the form of the Saginomiya heir.

"Hayate-sama…please let us take you back home, since were headed the same way anyway." Isumi pointed to her limo that had just drove up to the school entrance and the doors seemed to magically open. The inside was spotless and extremely lavish.

"Oh well thank you Isumi-san," the two butlers suddenly flanked him, "err hello?"

"Well you heard her." The one now on his right said quite sternly.

"Ah yes…" Hayate responded back as he felt his neck start to prickle with sweat and then climbed in after the first Saginomiya butler. They all were soon in the limo, with Isumi sitting across from Hayate, who was sandwiched between the two servants. It was a surprisingly tight squeeze for such a large limo.

* * *

After the relatively short and yet mentally straining ride between the two butlers, Hayate found himself alone with Isumi in front of the small Sanzenin mansion. By now Hayate knew pretty much ever inch of the mansion due to the one fact that he had cleaned EVERY inch of the mansion. If there was even a spot of dust somewhere Hayate quickly made it his duty to rid the mansion of that spot to uphold his position as a Sanzenin Butler.

It was definitely large enough for Isumi to get lost in.

"Well then Isumi-san, if you wish I'll lead you to my room so you can begin the exorcism."

"Very well, Hayate-sama. If you would please…" Isumi gave a small humble bow to Hayate and took a position beside Hayate as he started to lead her into and through the mansion. Hayate made it his mission to keep the heir of the

Saginomiya Family's incredible power in his sight at all times. There was no way he was allowing a guest, well technically she was doing a job so, a friend of Nagi to get lost while he was there to lead her. In a few minutes the pair found themselves at the door of Hayate's fairly normal bedroom, especially when compared to most of the other lavish rooms in the Sanzenin mansion.

Hayate opened the door and the two stepped inside.

**An innocent boy and an innocent girl stepped into the forbidden zone together clueless as always to what the circumstances might look like to others. Ah, the glorious days of youth.**

"The ghost should appear fairly soon Isumi-san."

"Alright Hayate-sama, I am ready." Isumi-san reached into the folds of her kimono and produced several paper talismans for use against the ghost that would be appearing. The overall look was that of a priestess preparing for a sacred ritual, which actually was fairly close to the truth when you think about it.

Isumi closed her eyes on concentrated her spiritual powers as she held the paper talisman up to her forehead. Power flowed throughout her, giving her a light blue glow while a non-existent wind ruffled her hair and wafuku around. Hayate couldn't help but look in awe at the raw power that cascaded off the small girl and charged the air around her.

Darkness blanketed the room to prepare for the hapless ghost's arrival.

The Zeon soldier popped into existence between Hayate and Isumi with its back toward the dark-haired girl.

"Hello again, Ze*n Soldier-san!" The ghost suddenly realized there was a powerful presence behind him and turned around ever so slowly, not even really realizing Hayate was there. What the ghost saw nearly instantly banished him to the River Styx. By this time the power was practically rolling off of Isumi but was completely under her control due to the fact that nothing on her was moving anymore. In the darkness Isumi had the appearance of a high-intensity light on a starless night.

Just the sight tended to make you blind.

The ghost knew he was in trouble, by the way he was started to fade out of existence so close to Isumi's power, her talisman by now were like suns and in fact, now looked just like one ball of very intense light, kind of like if someone where looking very closely at a bug-zapper lamp.

It was ready for some ghost exorcism. Then Isumi opened her eyes and said, "Go."

The ball of light turned into an intense beam and shot forward straight at the ghost. In a desperate maneuver to avoid being sent to wherever his destination might be, the ghost went through Hayate to have a barrier between him and Isumi's attack.

Hayate was able to get out one, "Eh?" Before the full force of Isumi's talents struck him right in the chest. Hayate screamed as the purifying power completely washed over him.

**As Hayate briefly found out where it was that exorcised ghosts went, Hayate had some changes happen to his RPG character sheet as a side effect of Isumi's light beam.**

[Hayate Ayasaki Stats

HP: 9999

MP: 0

Strength: 99

Agility: 99

Luck: -50

Status: Cursed]

Hayate has just been struck with the purifying power of the Saginomiya Heir. Attack ineffective. Purifying power weakens Hayate's curse. Temporary stats boost to Hayate's Luck points. +99 luck.

[Hayate Ayasaki *New* Stats

HP: 9999

MP: 0

Strength: 99

Agility: 99

Agility: 99

Luck: 49

Status: Normal]

Hayate has received temporary stat boosts as a side effect of Isumi's attack. Lucky!

"Gah!!!" Hayate collapsed onto his hands and knees and his body glowed with a faint blue light.

"Ah! H-Hayate-sama!" Isumi cried as she saw what she had done to Hayate, the ghost was behind Hayate and breathing a sigh of relief at being spared thanks to Hayate's bad luck barrier. The Ze*n Soldier also slumped to the ground and patted Hayate's back in thanks. The blue light still on Hayate's body quickly traveled to their intended target and the Zeon soldier tried to jerk back but it was too late. In a flash of light the ghost found his way off the earth at last.

[Hayate looses 9 to his luck stats. Luck reduced to 40.]

Isumi rushed to Hayate and placed her small hands on his shoulders. "Hayate-sama! Hayate-sama!" Concern tried to leak into her voice but mostly all it did was increase the volume of it as she shook his shoulders, gently.

"I-I'm all right Isumi-san. Ha ha ha!" Hayate laughed as he lifted his head level with hers. Sweat poured off his face and his face was even whiter then usual.

"Umm…are you?" Isumi tried to ask but Hayate interrupted her and leapt up onto his feet, leaving Isumi still crouched on the ground, her face now level with his stomach instead of his face.

"Don't worry! I'm quite fine Isumi-san! After all a Sanzenin Butler must be ready to endure anything for his ojou-sama!" Hayate nodded and wiped the sweat off his face quickly. Soon the color returned to his face and in fact, he looked even healthier then before, if that was possible, which is debatable.

Isumi got up on her feet and looked up at Hayate, she faintly smiled. It took a few more moments of Hayate standing there, and Isumi looking at him, that a connection finally made itself in Isumi's mind. Isumi suddenly realized the situation she was in and exactly where she was at the moment. Isumi moved her head right, then left, then back at Hayate who by now wasn't completely off in his own world. It started faint but soon Isumi found her cheeks starting to flame up.

**Ah yes, the young hime-sama found herself alone with a boy, in his room, where the forbidden doors opened themselves wide to her. Oh what was she to do?**

Isumi flared up like a comet entering the atmosphere as the full implications of where she was, along with the unique situation, hit her. Steam started to rise from her head and she tried to cover her face up with her sleeve. "Ehh…" Isumi took a step back unsure of what to do at the moment.

"Isumi-san? Is something the matter?" The ever clueless butler chimed in and took a step forward to help Isumi if needed.

Isumi found Hayate staring straight at her from only about a foot away, and she fainted.

"I-Isumi-san!" Hayate quickly caught her before she could slump to the floor. "Isumi-san!"

* * *

"A-hem, Hayate. I just came to say I forgive you for what you did earlier today. No, I can't be too lenient with him." Nagi puzzled over what to tell Hayate was she walked up to her house. "Maybe I should punish him, or force him to do something for me."

"Welcome back Nagi." Maria greeted the small girl as she opened the door for her.

"Maria, what can you do to make sure a guy doesn't cheat on you?" Nagi asked the maid with full sincerity. Maria found herself lacking an answer as she had no real experience herself with boys.

**Yes, the flowering of youth was quickly passing Maria by as she slaved away in Sanzenin-Nagi's mansion. Growing older and losing her chances at finding-**

"Are you saying something Narrator-sama?" Maria's right eyebrow began to twitch in extreme agitation and a dark aura started to surround the narrator in his sound booth.

**Nothing at all. **

"I have a feeling she's talking about Hayate-kun. Actually what else could it be? Well Nagi," Maria suddenly found the lock of hair on her forehead very interesting. "I suppose you could always threaten them with cross-dressing." Several familiar images passed through both female's minds which brought color to their cheeks.

"T-That's not a bad idea Maria! Alright then…HAYATE!!!" Maria watched as Nagi stomped off to find her butler-in-debt.

"I hope I didn't just give Hayate-kun too much trouble."

**Indeed, but we all know what you were really thinking. **

* * *

Sanzenin Nagi stomped through the mansion toward Hayate's room. If one were looking at her from a purely strangers perspective one might thing something like this, "Oh what a cute little girl, she looks like she's having a temper tantrum." Or something along these lines, "Wow, she looks mad. I wonder what happened? Well it's not like she the diminutive little girl trouncing through the mansion in which everything seemed bigger then her. Of course they had no idea of the horrors she was capable off and contemplating as she grew closer and closer to her destination.

"Hayate! I have something I want to talk to you about!" She yelled as she reached the door. "Hayate I never want you to cheat on me again!" She screamed as she turned the handle. "If I catch you ever-" The door opened, "I'm going to!" The door and time seemed to stop for a moment for the ridiculously rich ojou-sama. She had caught him in the act of cheating on her, or so she thought. "H-Hayate w-what are you?" There was the nightmare before her and it went something like this.

**The following description contains some truth but also a lot of exaggeration that is created in Nagi's mind due to her misplaced feelings of love toward her very stupid, but immortal, butler. **

Hayate was leaning over Isumi, sweat was all over her face and she looked like she was in shock. Isumi was trapped in the overzealous butler's bed with a raging animal with blue hair lusting over her. One hand was on her forehead and his face was mere inches from Isumi's, lips parted to take in hers. The animal was practically on poor Isumi but then noticed the intruder.

"Heh? Ojou-sama?" Hayate looked over at the small trembling girl with a wet rag in one hand that had just been on Isumi's forehead. "Oh thank goodness you've come you see…err, Ojou-sama?" A shadow started to cross over Hayate's face when he noticed the all-too-familiar look of rage plastered on his ojou-sama's features.

"HAYATE!!!" The door to Hayate's room started to melt. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO ISUMI! Y-YOU!" Hayate once again felt the cold hand of fear clamp around his throat. It hurt a lot since the room was already starting to go up in flames.

"Ojou-sama you see Isumi collapsed and she was already here and," he said trying to explain the situation to her.

What Nagi heard was something like this, "Heh Ojou-sama, glad you could come. I was just about to have some fun after I brought Isumi to my room and made her collapse in fright." Well, something along those lines anyway.

"HAYATE GET OUT OF THIS ROOM THIS INSTANT!" The yell was forceful, full of power, and tears had started to form in her eyes. Hayate wasted no time in leaving and thought to himself, _"Great, now I've even been kicked out of my own room by Ojou-sama. If only I knew just what I had done wrong."_

**Yes, there are people as stupid as that out there and Hayate is one of the worst ever**.

"Isumi! Are you all right!? Hayate didn't do anything to you did he!?"

Isumi gave a groan from the mattresses and opened her eyes. "Nagi? Where's Hayate-sama? I-I really have to apologize for fainting for no good reason."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you had a good reason for it!" Nagi responded, of course with the wrong idea still lodged in her head.

"N-no I really should apologize. I mean after I had just helped him out I just, well…" The memory of why she had fainted in the first place made the petite heir to the priestess line blush. Nagi gasped.

"No! He made you d-do something for him!?" Nagi was agape and very bad thoughts drifted through her vision, each getting worse then the last one. Of course Isumi went on, not knowing the thoughts drifting through her best friend's mind.

"Yes and I think he wanted it to be a secret from you Nagi." Isumi explained, triggering another avalanche in Nagi's already messed up brain.

**At that moment the young extremely rich girl was thinking. "I can't believe Hayate was like this all along, he's tricked me the whole time!" It's quite ironic that while her conclusion was completely off; however, she had basically tricked herself into believe Hayate was the man of her dreams when all he had wanted to do at the time was kidnap her. Ah, the mistakes made in youth. **

A very scary image of a Hayate with red eyes and an evil smile with the word, secrets, above his head dipped into Nagi's vision. "Don't worry Isumi!" Nagi clasped Isumi's hands in her own to comfort her. "I won't let anything else happen to you!" Isumi started to look confused at the way Nagi was acting.

"A-Ano…Nagi." She felt she had to say something but by the time she had said, 'Nagi', she was already gone. Three question marks popped over Isumi's head, then she looked around and blushed. She carefully slipped out of Hayate's bed and remade it for him. She found herself absently brushing the covers with her fingers. "I'd best go home. Now how do I get there?" By the time she had reached the door, she was lost.

(I actually had a lot of fun with this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!)


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hayate or anything associated with it. It's fun to use like this though!**_

**Bold Type is You-Know-Who**

**CHAPTER 3**

Is it a Bird? A Plane? A UFO? No it's the Announcer!

**Some say that in this world there is a force called Karma. The kind of Karma that follows a person depends on how good that person was in their previous life. In Hayate's case he would have been a very, very bad person indeed. This has absolutely no basis for being in this story but for right now our esteemed, and very seedy-looking, butler-in-debt has found, for maybe the first time in his life, good Karma! Ah, the suspense!**

The sound of a paper-fan slapping a person's face is heard, VERY LOUDLY.

**Sakuya-san!? How did you get into the Narrator dimension! Now before I get slapped again, BACK TO THE STORY!**

* * *

Hayate was hurt and confused at Nagi's outburst. "Ah…another day in my unlucky life; How is it that I always manage to get someone made it seems. Maybe if I could get my debt paid off and I started living by myself again everything would go back to normal." Hayate suddenly realized that normal to him had meant living under the same house as parents who only invested in dreams and not reality. A dark cloud descended over his head as his mind replayed the situation that had happened in episode 1 of Hayate the Combat Butler. (As the reference is to the show with Hayate actually in it, there will be no ** to hide the full name of Hayate the Combat Butler. Yes, I know it's disappointing) "Or maybe I'd be able to turn over a new leaf and have a debt-free life."

"Nah. There's no way I'm ever going to get out of debt in a hundred years at the rate I'm going."

Hayate's new luck, that had been a side-effect of being in the direct line of fire from one of Isumi's powerful spells, was infuriated that Hayate would think he could never be free of debt. How could someone who was suddenly endowed with so much divinely given luck, think he could never be free of debt! It was inconceivable! Of course Hayate didn't know he was suddenly lucky but so what! It would definitely prove him wrong!

**This luck sure seems to have some pride to it.** The narrator couldn't help commenting.

Hayate's stat sheet suddenly appeared and his luck dropped down by 20 points and a ray of light shot out from his body and sailed into the sky. Faster then a sp**d*ng b*ll*t and moving at supersonic speed, the ray of condensed luck that had at once been fused with Hayate had found its target.

Hayate saw a clock. It wasn't an ordinary clock of course and it itself was worth roughly 3 million yen, which was probably something like very cheap pocket-change to someone like Nagi, and possibly Maria, yet to Hayate it could put a year or two of service Hayate would have to give to the Sanzenin's if he broke it. It was set on a fairly random piece of furniture which was obviously expensive, probably worth around or even more then the clock was worth. Of course none of the above was on Hayate's mind because of what the clock said, or rather showed, on its face; the little hand was just to the left of the 10 and the big hand was just a notch from the 12, plus there was a second hand which was around the 6 area with only 30 or so seconds until 10 pm.

"Huh, I believe that the ticket said the winner would be announced at 10 o' clock. Well it's not like I even know what radio channel they are going to announce it on so I guess it won't affect me."

25 seconds left.

"Come to think of it, I don't even know what the prize is. Humm…I wonder what it would have been."

21 seconds left, just to be difficult.

"Maybe it would have been a new Ben* or perhaps a new X-Box 360. Ojou-sama would have liked to get that. What am I kidding she probably already has one. Ha ha ha!"

"Oh, Hayate-kun! What's that you have?" Maria seemed to have just appeared from nowhere and Hayate suddenly reasoned he was fingering the ticket unconsciously.

13 seconds left, the unlucky number, that can't be good, right?

"Oh err…nothing Maria-san." Hayate carefully stuffed it back into his suit pocket. Question marks appeared over Maria's head.

"Oh. By the way Hayate-kun; did Nagi have a talk with you?"

**It seems Maria-san is still thinking about that conversation she had in chapter 2. Naughty thoughts for such a lady, shame on you Maria-san.**

7 seconds left, oh a lucky number! I guess that cancels out the last one!

"Err, well Maria-san. I think she was going to but she well and there was Isumi…err; we kind of had a falling out. Heh." Hayate gave a guilty and crooked smile that a seedy-looking person would have after stealing from a candy store. It matched him quite frighteningly.

"I see." Maria paused for a very crucial second to be a tiny bit disappointed in her mind. "Well in any case Haya-" Her sentence was interrupted by the clock striking 10, which isn't as impressive or as magical as 12, but it still gets the job done. At the moment Luck was manipulating certain events which would soon become the greatest Hayate drama ever told! Or something like that.

**You see everyone reading this right now; it is not the soft, musical tone of the clock which has stopped Maria in her tracks. "Then what is it," you might ask. What has in fact not only caused all talking to cease but has also blow both Maria and Hayate off there feet is the several ton helicopter which has crashed through the wall while miraculously not bring anyone to harm but also creating a terrible gust of wind which had blown many valuable and very random items onto the ground. That was a fairly long sentence.**

One thing that is essential for any big crash of any sort is for a bit of drama. Like in a movie where a car blows up and one unscathed tire, except for the fact it is on fire, flies out of the wreck to bounce harmlessly down the street. In the case of this crash one large, and not very harmless, helicopter blade shoots off from the top of the before mentioned helicopter and embeds itself inches above Hayate and Maria's heads. At the moment, Maria is on top of Hayate as at the time she was blown off her feet Hayate quickly positioned himself to catch her fall. The two find themselves staring into each other's eyes like two very red and embarrassed lovers who find themselves suddenly making out in a place they thought was devoid of people.

Like every professional butler who has just found himself blown off his feet by a several ton helicopter crashing through a mansion wall he makes sure those around him are all right first. "Are you all right Maria-san?" He says from his awkward position on the floor where Maria has lifted herself off of him with her hands but finds she is unable to stand because of the rotor blade above her head and has to content herself with looking down at Hayate's face from her rather strange position.

"Umm…yes Hayate-kun I'm alright, though I hope you're not hurt." He is hurt, very hurt, but his invincible body doesn't know it even as blood starts to seep from his head, completely ruining any remote possibility of a romantic atmosphere that could happen with a couple thousand pounds of metal above their heads which could have easily killed them. Maria closes her eyes and gives a fake smile, trying to look cheerful even as Hayate's life sustaining blood gushed away. Hayate didn't buy it as he saw a sweat drop appear on her forehead.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Hayate began to hope he didn't hear that as he tried to gain a glimpse of the helicopter through all the smoke it had expelled, and around Maria's well-formed body, at least as much as you could see of it with those maid clothes on her. Ho ho ho was something that had plagued him and given him strength at the same time. It was something quite monumental in his life but he wasn't sure if he wanted to meet 'him' again.

Out of the oppressive smoke came the rather large and slightly round form, all in red and white. It was him, the great, the revered, the man totally powered on dreams, cookies, milk, and the occasional jelly bean left over from Easter that was found under the cushions. It was Santa-san.

"Ho ho ho my son! I see you have been working diligently for all this time with only one major slip up! Excellent job! Ho ho ho!" His belly wiggled a bit as he spoke through his white beard. It was definitely him all right but he seemed a bit bigger then when he saw him last and a lot jollier at that.

"S-Santa-san!" Tears started to well up in Hayate's eyes as he gazed, around Maria, at the jolly man who had never given him a present before. "You mean I've finally worked long and hard enough to achieve happiness?"

"Quite frankly I doubt it." Can Santa's reply. "But don't worry, one day you'll get it for sure and this just might be your day! And no, I am still not giving you anything except a talking to. Keep working diligently Hayate! Ho ho ho!" With those final words, the rather pointless conversation with the figment of Hayate's imagination ended and Santa-san disappeared.

"Hayate! You can hear me right! Just concentrate on my voice and forget about the hallucinations," Came Maria's beautiful voice as she tried to bring him back to realty from the dream land his lack of blood was taking him. She was also carefully scooting herself back away from Hayate and out from under the helicopter blade, still lodged in the wall. Finally she made it out and was able to go around and drag Hayate out from under the wreckage.

"Maria-san, thank you..." Maria helped Hayate up to his to his feet and simultaneously the bleeding stopped. They both looked at the nose of the vehicle which was now so disastrously parked in a wing of the mansion. Staring seemed to be about the best option they had at the moment.

"I know I said we wanted to make a SMASHING impression on the winner but I didn't mean like this!" Came a rather loud voice which sounded was if it was permanently amplified with a bass boost. A rather diminutive and fairly high voice followed.

"Oh, I'm sorry-tima. I just thought I was doing what you wanted. I suppose you wanted me to fire the fireworks-tima."

"Yes that was exactly what I wanted you to do-NO! NOT NOW!!!

**Yes I know; three exclamation marks are not supposed to appear ever in writing. But it certainly does get the point across.**

"Maria-san." Hayate spoke in an amazingly calm manner.

"Hayate-kun?"

"I think we better run."

"Yes, I agree." Without further hesitation to make up for the precious seconds wasted in a very short but very useless dialogue, Hayate picked Maria up bridal style and dashed away as only someone named after the wind could. That is to say, very, very fast.

* * *

Nagi was engrossed in a rather dated looking RPG on a rather dated looking console. She was trying very desperately to forget about what she had seen, or at least thought had seen, Hayate doing. Another orc fell before one of her character's sword attacks. The funny thing was that each and every enemy she killed seemed to become Hayate right before her eyes. The anger and betrayal she felt was obviously very extreme to even affect her in her 'game' world.

At the same time another attack hit and slayed the next enemy, she thought she heard a something, like a huge blast; however it was very faint after having to travel all the way from one end of the mansion to the next so it sounded more like a faint rumble.

"Maria! Is something going on?" Nagi was then greeted with silence. She shrugged and returned to her game. "This is kind of like an old version of Dr**on War*i*r. Basic story but it's all right." He eyes glazed over as she inserted herself fully into the game and managed to keep from thinking about Hayate. At least now she wasn't imagining Hayate as every enemy on the screen.

* * *

"Huh? What is that?" Asked Hakuou's Student Council President to herself as bursts of differently colored lights penetrated into her ridiculously high office where she was still finishing things up even at 10 pm at night. It had been a rather busy day for no apparent reason and so she had found herself locked up in the Student Council Clock Tower to make sure she didn't fall behind. Sometimes she wondered if she was the only person on the Student Council who actually worked. The light show was pretty impressive she had to admit. She liked the one's that burst into smiley faces, they seemed quite cute. In about a minute or two it was over though and the night turned into just the city lights again.

"Well I guess that was enough of a reward for me." Hinagiku smiled, was happy she had been able to see it without treading on the balcony and promptly forgot about it as she started getting ready to go home. She wanted to sleep in her own bed after all and not spend all her time at school.

* * *

."Ah could you pour me another cup Haru?" The young and energetic Osaka accented Sakuya asked her maid, who happened to be a member of the Student Council although not many people knew it. "I'd like to have one more before I make it a Nite."

"Of course!" Haru responded energetically while armed with a maid's genuine fake smile that has misled many a master to their doom with it. Before she could retrieve another pitcher with tea in it, the sky lighted up with the brilliant explosions that were wrecking havoc on the Sanzenin grounds. "Oh isn't that coming over from the Sanzenin estate?"

"Yes it is. Could Nagi have started a party without telling me! Haru, let's go and give Nagi a little visit!" Sakuya picked up her favorite paper fan from somewhere on her person and flared it dramatically in the direction of the short-lived fireworks display. "Come on Haru! Let's go!"

"But Sakuya-sama, I really think you should go to bed now. It's pretty late and I'm sure we'd only be imposing on them."

All of Sakuya's pent up enthusiasm vanished under Haru's tone. It wasn't a bad tone but somewhere underneath the pretty words, was something which was drying up her puns. Something that could do that had to be bad and come to think of it, hadn't she kept Haru longer then usual today? Sakuya had a feeling she knew why Haru was telling her this and Haru had always done such a wonderful job so she regretfully decided to go with her judgment. "Oh all right Haru. You can leave now."

"Thank you Sakuya-sama." The fireworks were long gone.

"I sure hope I'm not missing anything that could bust my gut out laughing."

* * *

After the smoke settled, again, Hayate and Maria cautiously tread their way back to the crashed helicopter that now resembled burnt toast; although, it was colorful burnt toast. Of course this all happened after the indoors fireworks display and Hayate had realized the way he was carrying Maria. With some embarrassment, he set her down and they both turned away temporarily to return to their normal colors.

Out of the wreckage came two ash coated figures. The first was a rather busty girl in what had been a blue mini skirt and green collared shirt with buttons. What were her most noticeable features though, were the strange red symbols that went all over her visible body, which was quite a lot of it. The second smoked out victim was a man in a rather formal looking suit and strangely informal looking polka-dot tie. What was strange about him was the face, that no matter how far they looked up at him, they could never see past his torso. It wasn't that he was insanely tall, although he was tall; it was just that for some reason their eyes automatically insisted that his head didn't exist which was very confusing for the brain. The brain had to quickly compensate for their sanity and insisted that they could only see to his torso height. His hands were quite big.

"I DID NOT TELL YOU TO SHOOT OFF THE FIREWORKS MAO!" After shouting the man that appeared to be too tall to see his head but actually wasn't smacked her on the head.

"Ow! I'm sorry-tima! I'll make sure to do everything right from now on-tima!"

"OH I'M TERRIBLY SORRY FOR CRASHING INTO THE MANSION SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. EVERYTHING WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF."

"_Another ridiculously rich person no doubt. Will I never stop meeting such people?" _Hayate thought as his brain still insisted he couldn't see past the torso. He was starting to get a headache. _"I have a feeling I've heard his voice before but it's not in __**bold**__ letters."_

"Yes, you had better paid and fix the place up as soon as you can." Everyone felt a chill as they saw Maria's fake smile and twitching eye. There was definitely a tiger lurking somewhere in there, as long as it wasn't Tama.

"Congratulations!-Tima! You are our grand prized winner-tima! Yah!" The black-haired girl popped a party popper that was full of confetti. The man grudgingly went along with it by clapping his huge hands, very slowly.

"What?" Hayate didn't even notice when Mao took the ticket from his pocket and quickly scanned over the numbers. "But how did you even know I had it? Or where I was?"

"Well each of our tickets has its own microchip-tima! That way we can tell where each ticket is so we don't have to waste time when the winner is announced-tima! Quite ingenious don't you think-tima?"

"_More like an invasion of privacy if you ask me,"_ Thought the rather disturbed Hayate. "So what's the grand prize?"

"MAO!"

"Yes-tima?"

"GIVE HIM THE CARD." A giant hand reached into its breast pocket and pulled out a gold-trimmed card that looked super, custom made. Mao reached out for the card and took it to present it to Hayate.

"This card has all the information you need-tima. We'll see you all later-tima!" The torso man and Mao turned around and went toward the helicopter. Two large hands gripped the nose and started to push the helicopter out of the mansion while two very shocked employees watched.

"He's…very strong," Was all Maria could come up with at the moment. Then she returned to a more logical reality. "So what's written on the card Hayate-kun?" They both peered at the cards now lodged in Hayate's hands.

"Well let's see…" Hayate started to fumble with the card's seal when they both heard a noise. They both looked up. The mansion was completely fixed without a trace of anything out of the ordinary. Well except someone had obviously been in a great hurry and the clock was facing the wall but otherwise it was exactly the same as it had been. They looked at each other.

"What I have I gotten myself into Maria-san!?"

"What have you gotten yourself into Hayate-kun!?"

They said in unison as their thoughts became one for a split second. Hayate opened the card.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: As always I do not own any of these chatracters etc._**

**Bold Type is the Narrator**

ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IS THE MAN WHOSE FACE IS NEVER SEEN

**Chapter 4**

How come these things always have a catch?

These words are contained in the letter which the narrator will speak for greater impact to the reader. "Ahem. Thank you author-sama. Now I will begin reading the letter."

**I insert name hereby swear by bracket insert that which you swear by here bracket comma that I am the rightful winner and owner of this ticket period I will be led by bracket to be identified later bracket and will follow said person to an undisclosed location to make this ticket valid by this stamp period bracket place stamp here bracket After I receive said stamp I will be eligible to receive the never before mentioned prize that I comma bracket insert name here bracket comma want really, really badly period I hope to play again in the near future period. Quite the mouthful indeed.**

Maria and Hayate found themselves having to slow down and read the letter two more times before they could safely assume they had read it correctly, well at least Hayate had to but Maria very quickly caught on and deciphered it all before Hayate had made it his second time through. They both found themselves wondering just what kind of organization would allow a typist who spelled out 'periods' instead of using the usual symbol.

"This type of setup makes about as much sense as ojou-sama's manga." Hayate, the astute observer, commented. On the other side of the mansion Nagi sneezed.

"Yes I have to agree with you Hayate-kun. Is there anything more to the letter?" Maria asked, and Hayate rubbed his hands over the paper and turned it over. The letter was quite plain, except for some silver and gold decorations, along with some cute, butt-naked cherubs in the corners that didn't really seem very in place on the letter of some lottery ticket prize card that obviously approved of gambling which was shunned upon in most religious circles. "I suppose the cherubs are cute." Maria added as they both pondered over the letter. Hayate couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed while looking at the innocent cherubs on a not so innocent card which he and Maria were both handling together at the moment. Hayate had no idea what was going to happen next as they both found their fingers touching a little bit.

**Finger touching is often the first step to a closer relationship as I've heard in many high-society circles where sipping drinks and making small talk is considered a manly sport and a female's experience to get used to using their eyes as an astute means of communication.**

Maria let go of the letter and allowed Hayate to hold it himself while she quickly composed herself after feeling some heat rise up in her cheeks.

Hayate looked it over on e more time and then nodded. "All right, I guess I just have to wait until that person whom I'm supposed to follow comes here. I wonder who it will be?"

Hayate began to hear something that sounded very familiar but he couldn't quite put his hand on it; it stopped and then it started all over again. Hayate turned to the sound and found it to be coming from a small, portable DVD player and the person hold the player was, "Father Regiostar!? You're still hanging around!?" The perverted catholic priest laughed.

"But of course Hayate-kun! After all I am still bound to this Earth by so many regrets and have yet to pass on! Oh if only I could be free from my shackles!"

Hayate cringed. "As if you want to go to heaven." Hayate muttered under his breath but then spoke so he could hear. "What is it you're watching anyway?" Hayate walked over to father Regiostar and glanced at the screen. The scene was very familiar to him by now after having seen the perverted priest look at it so many times.

"Father! Prepare yourself as I send you to heaven!" Isumi gets into what looks like a fighting stance and proceeds to trip on her own skirt as she attempts the awe inspiring maid turn. With a small, "Ahh", of surprise Isumi lands face down in the grass. Hayate's face darkens in a kind of combo of disgust and embarrassment that he's one of the few people that can actually see him.

A calm but slightly troubled voice interrupted Hayate's thoughts. "Hayate? Who are you talking to?" Maria's question reminds Hayate that he's one of the few people that can see him and from the look on her face; she can't see the DVD player either.

"Oh err nobody Maria-san! Well I suppose I'll wait here for my guide so you can go back to work if you want." Maria looked a little suspiciously at him but soon shrugged it off.

"Well ok Hayate-kun. I suppose I should check up on Nagi anyway." Maria gave Hayate another interesting look and then started to walk away. _"I sure hope the fact that Hayate-kun has actually won something for once doesn't make him go crazy"_

Once Maria had left them alone, Hayate looked suspiciously at the DVD player. "So is this DVD player a ghost too?"

"Don't be silly Hayate-kun; I wouldn't be able to download the video onto a ghost drive. I was able to acquire this spirit phasing patch from a wonderful benefactor. It's quite amazing the stuff you can find these days." He pointed to a small patch with an intricately carved symbol engraved on it that was stuck on the bottom of the DVD player. "It makes it quite convenient to carry around. Now I can watch my favorite clip everywhere I go!"

Hayate felt no pity for the priest. "So anyway why are you here priest-san?"

"Oh well in exchange for the spirit patch I was asked to guide you to your next destination." Hayate started to feel dread creep up on him.

"You mean you're my guide!?" Hayate really wanted to run away but if he was the guide, he would have to deal with him.

"Yes." Hayate really wished he were deaf at this point as he kept hearing Isumi falling again and again in the background. "Now Hayate I have one condition before we depart. You see as you already know the wonderful sight of a maid, with a maid's glorious spirit fills me with heavenly joy and seeing as our dear Maria has departed you need to find a maid to accompany us."

Hayate felt his eyes filling up with murderous intent. "Oh. And perhaps I should just call Isumi to come have you exorcised."

The priest laughed rather pitifully, "Ha ha, come now Hayate you wouldn't deprive me of such a simple pleasure now would you?" Hayate glared, the priest seemed to be ready to tread on very thin ice in order to appease his perversion. Hayate's mind quickly went through all the possibilities. He was certain he didn't want Maria to become involved or anyone else for that matter. If he asked Hinagiku she would probably kill him and he really didn't want to make her mad. Ayumu he doubted had the necessary skills in order to pull off being a maid and wouldn't make the priest's cut. Quite frankly there were very few people who could pull it off, but Hayate knew at least one way he could make the perverted father get his wish without endangering any of the girls he knew that could pull off being a maid.

"Alright fine, I'll be back in a little bit and then you're taking me to that place. Got it?"

"Of course, came back soon Hayate!" Hayate grudgingly went away and got ready. When Hayate got back the priest's eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. The person who returned was not at all like the seedy butler-in-debt but had turned into a very beautiful, Ayasaki Hermione.

**Ayasaki is very uncomfortable when he cross-dresses.**

"Welcome home, master!" Hermione gives the priest a smile only someone who has practiced to be an astute salesperson or in some cases a very good liar which is nearly the same thing. The priest eyes grow wide and they very quickly check out each section of Hermione's body.

"Silk black stockings, black and white maid uniform, green brooch and red ribbon, frilly maid cap, and a smile that could send me to heaven, truly I've been blessed! Oh but I mustn't think about it too much and keep the illusion to myself like those guys in Pr**ces* Pr**ces*." The rather unholy father quickly brought a hand up to stop a nose bleed.

**While Ayasaki was being observed he was thinking to himself, "Ugh this is so embarrassing. HEY DON'T THINK SUCH THOUGHTS ABOUT ME!" Ayasaki thought all this while retaining his composed maid look. Oh the trials of a butler-in-debt!**

"Well I suppose this will do, I'll lead you to your destination." The apparently satisfied priest led Hayate out of the mansion and onto the streets.

"_Oh please let this place be nearby so that I can change back into my normal clothes."_ They continued to walk side-by-side so that the priest could continue to look at Ayasaki Hermione while he led him, _her,_ the priest reminded himself, to their destination. As luck would have it, which detracted 4 points Hayate had accumulated from Isumi's attack, they made it without incident to a local stadium. "So this is it, well thank you priest-san." Hermione gave a curtsy to him and then disappeared into the nearest restroom.

"Oh thank you so much for allowing me to see such a sight before I go on!" Spirit tears came out of the priest's eyes, but soon stopped once he turned on his DVD player again. "Well there's still so much to see!" By the time Hayate had come back out he was gone; thankfully, there were more interesting things to see like the giant posters with colorful arrows on them that said, "Grand Prize Winner Come This Way!" Hayate followed the signs and soon found himself at the center of the stadium where the man, whose head somehow always managed to stay out of everyone's vision, waited for him along with his busty assistant Mao.

"Congratulations-tima!" Mao said and shook his hand. Suddenly the stands were full of people cheering which shocked Hayate as he wasn't expecting anyone else to be there.

"WELCOME AYASAKI HAYATE TO THE EXCLUSIVE CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND GAME SHOW!" Poppers popped, streamers flew along with the occasional pigeon and one random dove that had got caught up in the whole mess littered the sky all of a sudden.

"A game show!?" Was all Hayate could manage to say as he looked at the packed stands full of people.

"YES! THE CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND GAMESHOW! YOU HAYATE, THROUGH THE GRANDPRIZE HAVE BEEN ENTERED INTO THE GAMESHOW FOR A CHANCE TO WIN 700 MILLION YEN!"

As luck would have it, the number seven was in the prize money and Hayate lost one luck point.

"Heh!? I lost some of my luck stats just because the prize money is 700 million yen!?"

**Sorry Ayasaki-kun but even luck has a sense of humor.**

"And now for the rules-tima! Ayasaki Hayate is to compete against four other competitors for the grand prize-tima! Now, to introduce the other contestants-tima!"

"Priest-san, please pray for me."

Back at the mansion the priest sneezed. "Oh no, looks like I'll have to clean you off." The priest said to himself as he wiped off the Sa*l** M*** figurine in his hand. The priest kept himself occupied with making sure the figurine was clean along with his many other figurines scattered around on the floor, all female of course.

**The story will continue after this commercial break.**

* * *

**Author's Notes: You'll have to forgive me being so late in getting up another chapter but it's been very hard to do stuff recently with college and other stuff. Also forgive me, cause this chapter is about half as long as my others but I figured I'd better get something out there before you all become dreadfully bored, which is probably already too late but anyway. Hope you liked the chapter and maybe in the near future I'll have my next one up. Later guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: As always I do not own any of these chatracters etc._**

**Bold Type is the Narrator**

ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IS THE MAN WHOSE FACE IS NEVER SEEN

Underlined Type is Mecha Butler Thirteen

**Chapter 5**

Common Sense or Just Non-Sense?

**If anyone in the audience right now was wondering what the commercial was about, just out of slight curiosity since your T*V* skips advertisements it was about cake. It was done to make sure that people knew that "Cake is [not] a lie". Despite whatever some vastly intelligence computer program tells you, you can rest assured that the cake you eat today is real. A-hem and now back to the game show.**

"NOW WE RETURN TO THE CHANCE TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND GAME SHOW!"

"I wasn't aware that we went anywhere." Hayate quipped since of course for him, no time passed between the time the author wrote the last chapter and this one.

"NOW! TO SHOW OFF ALL THE CONTESTANTS STANDING HERE TODAY!" A roar rippled out from the crowd, and four shadows appeared next to Hayate which didn't make any sense at all from a physicist's point of view since there didn't seem to be anything making the shadows. In an instant one of the shadows that had been in a fairly familiar shape suddenly filled in and in its place was a familiar figure.

"FIRST OFF IS SAEKI HIMURO, BUTLER OF THE OOKOUCHI FAMILY!"

"It's Prince Necktie!"

"Oh please Ayasaki, I have a name you know, not that I really care about what you do as long as you don't get in my way of the 700 million yen prize." The dark-haired butler was holding a rose up to his nose and for some reason flower petals were falling down all around him. He would have made a perfect symbol for romance, if his nose hadn't started bleeding after he mentioned the 700 million yen prize.

"_He really has some problems to sort out."_ Hayate thought to himself but his attention soon focused in on the next constant that had suddenly become visible.

"SECOND WE HAVE THE MAN THAT NEVER ADMITS DEFEAT! GILBERT KENT!"

"Hayate! I will defeat you so that I can take the Sanzenin family's inheritance but right now, I'll win this so I can have a small taste of the riches that I will possess the day I defeat you!" Gilbert shouted out his brave proclamation and pointed a finger dramatically at Hayate. Hayate just started, a bit stupefied at the afro-head that had appeared before him, again.

"_Well, it is certainly true that he never gives up no matter how bad he keeps losing."_ Gilbert's stupid attitude was already getting on his nerves but thankfully the next person appeared.

"OUR THRID CONTESTANT IS SOMEONE WHO JUST RECENTLY MANAGED TO COME BACK TO EARTH, MECHA BUTLER THIRTEEN!" This was a very recognizable face since it was modeled after Hayate's own.

**Of course it looked a little more high-tech then his and a lot more expensive then our very own Hayate.**

"You didn't have to go that far Narrator-san."

**Sorry if the truth hurts.**

"Hayate I am happy that we can meet again but in this situation we are rivals. I am superior to you in every way in all manners of the profession of butler but I admit I don't have your ability to love since I am not human; however, I am quite positive you will lose this battle." The robotic voice of the mecha butler resounded across the stadium with all the firmness and monotones only a robotic voice could produce.

"Um, so Mecha Butler-san, why do you need 700 million yen anyway?"

"I require the currency so that I can start by own business and become a normal member of society like any other human."

Hayate couldn't even respond to the mecha's response since he couldn't think of anything else to say. It did seem to be a pretty good reason after all.

"Well," Hayate finally found a response, "I'll be certain to try my best to win too!"

"I'm counting on it Ayasaki Hayate."

"AND NOW THE FOR THE FOURTH CONTESTANT WHO," The announcer paused to read a slip of paper. "HAS REQUESTED THAT WE KEEP THEIR IDENTITY A SECRET FOR NOW SO WE CAN ADD SUSPENSE TO THIS STORY!"

"Suspense makes everything better-Tima!"

"YOU CAN BE QUITE!" A giant hand came down on Mao's head from the man whose face cannot be seen.

"Ow! Sorry-Tima."

"NOW THAT ALL FIVE CONTESTANTS ARE HERE WE CAN BEGIN THE GAMES!"

With that announcement, the audience started to cheer loudly for the show to start.

"WE WILL START OFF WITH OUR CLASSIC KICKOFF EVENT! THE DIMENSIONAL DOORWAY!" Suddenly what looked like a fairly ordinary door rose from the group in front of the contestants; of course if it had been ordinary it wouldn't be there. Mao stepped away from the announcer's side and started to make her way toward the door.

"We will start off with our tradition event-tima!" Mao started to wind herself around the door, acting like one of those women you would see on some game show that was suppose to advertise the product being played for and instead looked like they were advertising themselves more than the entertainment set they were showing off. She walked around the door once to show that it was basically just a frame in the middle of the ground with a door attached to it. "As you well know-tima. This door is very special and it is currently locked-tima. You are suppose to open this door and then deal with the situation you find on the other side how you see fit-tima!" After making another loop around the frame, she gave the handle a tight squeeze to show that it was indeed locked and walked a short distance away from the door.

"Let the games begin-TIMA!" With a cheer and a dazzling array of lights the games started for real.

"FIRST UP IS THE MYSTERIOUS CONTESTANT WE WILL NOT NAME! GIVE IT UP FOR ****!"

"Due to the nature of this request-tima. All contestants with have sensor blocks placed on them when our anonymous contestant is playing-tima!"

The sensor blocks were quite effective and annoying Hayate had to admit. Wherever his eyes tried to follow the blacked out shape of his fellow contestant what stood in his way was the most ridiculous sticker man holding a sign that said, 'Can't Show'. Hayate wanted to punch it for some reason.

"To make sure everyone is up to speed-tima. Each contestant will be rated on their performance from one to ten and the points will stack up from there-tima!" Within a short time the event was over and no one, expect the judges, knew what had happened since the person had been given an 8 for their performance.

"NEXT UP IS THE LOSER WHO REALLY WANTS MONEY AND LIKES ROBOTS IS OUR VERY OWN, AND QUITE USELESS, GILBERT!" Gilbert smiled so brightly you could see his teeth sparkle, the effect on a guy with such an afro was an affront to nature.

"_How can he smile when he was introduced like that?"_ Hayate thought and almost felt pity for the idiot but common sense, and the fact that he was after the inheritance, kept he from feeling any sympathy.

"That's right; the great Gilbert will show you how it's done. Now then, Kicker-Robot!" A fairly large robot descended from the sky and crashed into the stadium right next to Gilbert who stood quite confidently as his afro was whipped around by the impact's wind force and suddenly he had a very, forward looking afro that seemed to want to hide his face. "Now kick down that door and let's-"

"Gilbert-san," Mao interrupted Gilbert before he could proceed any further. "In this event one can have no outside help in opening the door-tima."

Gilbert froze and the expression on his face was one not easily forgotten. The robot was quickly hauled away and Gilbert limped toward the door and quickly reverted to the only card he felt he could play at the moment. He leaned against the door and wet for them to open it. A depressing atmosphere entered the entire stadium and the door opened out of pure embarrassment that someone could so shamelessly weep upon its hinges. Hayate and his competitors heard the gust of wind that happens every time someone does something so incredible stupid or miserable that the whole world has to stop for at least one second in pity. The judges gave Gilbert a 3 and he gave himself a thumbs up.

"NEXT UP IS THE BUTLER FROM THE OOKOUCHI FAMILY, SAEKI!"

Saeki gave a bow to the crowd and then took a whiff from a rose that he somehow always had on his person. "I will show you how a professional butler gets a job done." He strolled up to the door and knocked on it. "If you would be so kind as to open up the door for me I would be happy to give you a hundred dollars."

"You would?" Came a voice from the other side of the door just as it started to open and out came what looked like a homeless person whose eyes immediately fell on a small wad of cash on the ground where Saeki had been earlier. The man dove for the money which suddenly shot through the air, away from his clutches back into the hands of the butler who had perched himself on top of the door frame.

"As if I could live with the thought of departing from my beloved money, I thank you for opening the door though." With a quickly nod, Saeki jumped down behind the man and stepped through the door. He got an 8 for his score.

"AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR OUR OWN MECHA BUTLER THIRTEEN TO TAKE THE FIELD!" The mecha butler confidently strode up for the door.

"I will accomplish this task in the most efficient manner possible." The Hayate look-alike raised its hand to the door and one of its fingers transformed into a lock pick which almost instantly unlocked and opened the door. On the other side was what appeared to be a very large dinosaur. "Eliminating threat to the populace." The mecha butler proceeded through the door and despite the rather scary looking creature's size couldn't put up much of a fight against the greatest butler robot in existence. It was over in around 5 seconds and he got a fantastic 10 for his performance.

"NOW IT IS TIME FOR OUR LAST CONTESTANT! THE SEEDY LOOKING BUTLER OF THE SANZENIN FAMILY!"

"_Why does everyone one say I'm seedy?"_ Hayate gave his best seedy businessman smile which admittedly had a slight twinge at the corners as he fought to keep the smile intact. "I'll give my best." Hayate walked up to the door in the middle of the stadium and he quickly formed a plan and knocked on the door. Hayate masked his voice a little and spoke into the frame. "Hey open up, it's me." The door opened up and in front of Hayate appeared a Yakuza who he quickly decked before he could do anything more. Hayate quickly charged the gang inside the door and the aftermath looked about the same as if a small tornado had gone through. Then Hayate came out and he gently closed the door. He got a ten.

"Congratulations-tima!" Mao went to greet Hayate who started to look a little embarrassed since the crowd was cheering so loudly. "How did you know they would open the door for you-tima?" Mao asked with a puzzled expression.

"Well, because 'me' is someone everyone knows." Hayate put a hand behind his head and gave a few false laughs.

**Cookie for anyone who knows where that line comes from…**

"Well here are the results so far-tima!" A magical scoreboard appeared from the ceiling of the stadium showing the scores of each individual. A man in black from the crowd pointed at Hayate's name.

"Hey isn't that?" The Sanzenin SP questioned to the very similar SP to the right of him. "Yes it is, and he's actually doing quite well. Though I highly doubt his luck will last though."

"Still," Started SP number three who was on the other side of SP number 2 who was in-between number 1 and 3. "If this continues and he wins the money and pays off the debt." The three SPs grew silent and their thought bubbles combined into one. In their mind's they pictured a very somber and cross Nagi who happened to have tear lines on her face since her beloved Hayate was gone.

"We can't let that happen!" Shouted SP number 1 who stood up suddenly and startled the panda sitting to the left of him. It growled but he ignored it.

"We are charged with protecting Ojou-sama and we cannot let the loss of her favorite butler come to pass!" Said number two as he also stood up suddenly and the large wrestler looking man behind him couldn't see the stadium any more. A vein started to pop in his head.

"We must use any means necessary to keep Hayate from winning!" The 3rd SP rocketed from his seat and startled the old lady sitting to the right of him, who happened to be armed with a rather large purse. The three nodded in agreement and were about to leave to sabotage Hayate when the large man behind them cracked his knuckles, the Panda turned to face them to growl, and the old lady scowled and brought up her purse.

"Where do you think you guys are going?" Another knuckle cracked and the three SPs found themselves unable to escape the wrath of the stadium populace.

Hayate lost 10 luck points.

**Will Hayate have enough luck to hold out till the end? Will he be able to overcome the highly superior mecha butler to claim the prize? Who exactly is this person that is being ****? Hopefully the answers will be answered in kind when the author gets around to it. Until next time!**

* * *

**Author's Note: Well here is my next chapter, can't say I'm especially happy with it but I figured I needed to at least push the story along for you guys. It's been hard recently for me to think of cool and funny things to add to this story, in fact it's quite energy zapping! In any case I'll leave you to with this for now and the mystery of the censored contestant. Cookie to anyone who can guess who it is. XD! Later everyone!**


End file.
